He asks us to be forgiving. He asks us to be compassionate. I guess he wouldn’t do that if he knew what it feels like to lose to a man
He takes credit for things that I produced out of thin air, bare products that took birth exclusively from broken figments of my vividly explicit imagination. And yes, that includes nose nuggets, mucus and dandruff too. Disgusting?
Hold on to your hats then. More to come
A young woman drudges through incalculable pangs of morning sickness and a squeeze toy bladder that loses control and finally snaps herself open and unleashes her amniotically smeared baby onto this world. Squeaking and bawling and flickering like a dying flame, it comes out. Why does it cry? Does the pain that 5 pound son of a bitch inflicted suddenly invoke guilt? Don’t think so.
The mother waits for the first time her baby grabs her finger. The first time her baby suckles on her ample bosoms. Bites ’em nipples raw with the middle finger raised at the onlookers. And she grows into a mother with love she never knew existed inside her. With love irreplaceable, invincible, immortal.
And God claims he created kangaroos so we could become mothers?
He asks us to be forgiving. He asks us to be compassionate. I guess he wouldn’t do that if he knew what it feels like to do the time at your daughter’s wedding and send her off knowing she’s never coming back.
A musician
spends years busting his back to create 3 minute melodies to entertain people
absolutely oblivious to his effort or the fact that some music is actually
playing in the background. You see, in concerts, dopies sneak up a shitload of
ganja in their asses and wear shirts made out of rizla. All you gotta do is
tear a handful from your shirt, pull an extra chunky jiff out your ass, roll,
light and drag. And days, months, years
and a cathedral full of moolah that got sacrificed in preparation for the
concert start to pay off, from both ends, the performer and the viewer.
Of course, the impact on the human ear – everlasting.
And God claims he created cuckoos so we could create music?
I say, we cultivated ganja so we could create music ;)
He asks us to be forgiving. He asks us to be compassionate. I guess he wouldn’t do that if he knew what it feels like to love someone to your bones and be forced to live without them all your life.
Talk about jaguars, Lamborghinis. Horse power, torque, suspension, hydraulics. I am sure God would take credit again. “I created horses right? Go ahead. You can build a Bentley now”
No God! We can’t. Not motivating enough.
We have engineers that grease up years under the chasis so we could create reliable brake linings. We have designers, glued to their monitors, hopped up on all possible alkaloid stimulants of the Solanaceae family, who spend half their ages wired up to come up with a unique design. Alas! The design lasts a couple months before an entirely different set of the same junkies from a different part of the world bring up a new badass design.
Of course, the impact on the human ear – everlasting.
And God claims he created cuckoos so we could create music?
I say, we cultivated ganja so we could create music ;)
He asks us to be forgiving. He asks us to be compassionate. I guess he wouldn’t do that if he knew what it feels like to love someone to your bones and be forced to live without them all your life.
Talk about jaguars, Lamborghinis. Horse power, torque, suspension, hydraulics. I am sure God would take credit again. “I created horses right? Go ahead. You can build a Bentley now”
No God! We can’t. Not motivating enough.
We have engineers that grease up years under the chasis so we could create reliable brake linings. We have designers, glued to their monitors, hopped up on all possible alkaloid stimulants of the Solanaceae family, who spend half their ages wired up to come up with a unique design. Alas! The design lasts a couple months before an entirely different set of the same junkies from a different part of the world bring up a new badass design.
He asks us to
be forgiving. He asks us to be compassionate. I guess he wouldn’t do that if he
knew what it feels like to give up a life to save another
There is this thin bitchy line between a disease and its cure. You know what angels call it. Actually those suckers don’t even get to call it. They just receive orders from “Father” and pass the word along. So anyway, the thin line as perpetuated by angels is called Pain. God says he gave us pain so we could learn to love, appreciate relief, comfort, health, well being and shit.
No! Duh! That’s not why he gave us pain.
He gave us pain so he could control us. Keep us whining, moaning and suppressed so we could fail to unlock our true potential. He knew he had made a boo-boo when he created us. He gave us too much power. Power that would one day out run him. So he gave us pain. To significantly immobilize us, restrict us.
We shot a million monkeys into space to see the biological effects of space travel. Think about the pain, hunger and thirst those oblivious bastards must have suffered before they got sucked in an orbit and finally kicked the bucket. They were sacrificed so humans could breathe through a mask up there.
And God claims he created Ruppell’s Vultures so we could build rockets?
He asks us to be forgiving. He asks us to be compassionate. I guess he wouldn’t do that if he knew what it feels like to be human.
What about the unfortunate surgeon who gave up his life testing an anti-malarial drug on himself so we could smile when a mosquito bit us?
Medicine monkey? Not cool man!
So the next time you build an airplane, don’t let God tell you that you could do it coz he created birds to throw you a nudge. Come on God! That’s just condescension up my hairy crack.
There’s a gazillion reasons why I created an airplane. Flying? Not one of them
There is this thin bitchy line between a disease and its cure. You know what angels call it. Actually those suckers don’t even get to call it. They just receive orders from “Father” and pass the word along. So anyway, the thin line as perpetuated by angels is called Pain. God says he gave us pain so we could learn to love, appreciate relief, comfort, health, well being and shit.
No! Duh! That’s not why he gave us pain.
He gave us pain so he could control us. Keep us whining, moaning and suppressed so we could fail to unlock our true potential. He knew he had made a boo-boo when he created us. He gave us too much power. Power that would one day out run him. So he gave us pain. To significantly immobilize us, restrict us.
We shot a million monkeys into space to see the biological effects of space travel. Think about the pain, hunger and thirst those oblivious bastards must have suffered before they got sucked in an orbit and finally kicked the bucket. They were sacrificed so humans could breathe through a mask up there.
And God claims he created Ruppell’s Vultures so we could build rockets?
He asks us to be forgiving. He asks us to be compassionate. I guess he wouldn’t do that if he knew what it feels like to be human.
What about the unfortunate surgeon who gave up his life testing an anti-malarial drug on himself so we could smile when a mosquito bit us?
Medicine monkey? Not cool man!
So the next time you build an airplane, don’t let God tell you that you could do it coz he created birds to throw you a nudge. Come on God! That’s just condescension up my hairy crack.
There’s a gazillion reasons why I created an airplane. Flying? Not one of them
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