May be one last chunk!

The recipe for weight gain is actually quite simple. Watch enough T.V for about a week and you’ll begin to feel depressed. Hey! Not because you’re paranoid or you battled abandonment politics as a child. Na na na na! It’s simply something that television does to you. I wonder if they should change its name to ‘Psychoses Box’.

Anyway, once you have developed an eating disorder and you’re brimming with melancholy, you’ll painfully lose the urge to swap channels and anything they show on TV will become interesting as long as you don’t stop eating. You keep this up for a month. Nothing major happens. You know, body resists crap! However, if you keep doing this, the next thing you know, an assistant buyer tries to squeeze you out of a shoulder jumpsuit that you thought you’d wear on your special night! J

Sugar blues – yeah I get it! The harder you drudge, the more over strung they make you. That saucy image of a perfectly proportionate piece of round, googly, calorie loaded, buttered and toasted muffin has been camping inside your mental food compartments for a gazillion years. The picture is so clear you could beat Da Vinci if asked to draw.

Well, that’s the catch.

The next time you’re swamped with an urge to snack on a chunk of what may only be described as pure blubber along your sides, hips, chest and belly, grip your stacked abdomen layers or manboobs or hips, whatever works for you, and clench the fat as hard as it takes to suffocate the feeling. With your fists clasped tight against the fat, look in the mirror and feel disgraceful. Feel guilt. Feel ashamed. Feel self loathing. May be slap yourself a bit. Trust me, that will, sure as you’re born, kill the growling cells in your stomach.

Repeat this for about a month and a sudden fusillade of anti adipose behaviour shall become a habit. Over the course of a year, you’ll cut back 20 pounds. WORD! A little self inflicting behaviour may be complimentary. But again, it depends on how far along you are in the mental breakdown process.

Also, stop being a wuss and harness a little willpower to work out. But don’t count on it. It’ll simply help speed up the process.

So to sum up,

Hate your fat, you’ll start losing it.
Just remember not to start hating self. You might lose that too.